External prettiness (and some inadvertant internal mucking) plus the weekend

[melaniesuzanne]

In an effort to increase my confidence and self-appreciation, I've been taking steps toward improving my appearance as my body changes shape and size. I've been dressing up a lot more at work -- despite the fact that nobody really sees me during the work day; whatever -- and I've been watching tutorials on make-up application (Makeup Geek is my current fave). I've also got an actual hair style as opposed to simply letting my mane grow and then getting it whacked back when the hair gets to the limp and lifeless stage. In addition to the excess weight, I'm also shedding a barrier against other people which means I feel more visible. May as well make the best of that visibility, eh?

God. I sound so shallow right now. But, I've spent many, many years feeling like a sow in lipstick because that's what someone my size (all those sizes) should feel like. Screw that mentality. No more hiding. No more ducking. I love myself and if I want to feel pretty, I will. Conversely, when I want to feel schlubby, I will own that, too.

Relatedly, my cosmetics collection now rivals the size of my perfume collection. Oof.

In other news, I spent nearly all of Saturday cleaning and reorganizing the craft room. I don't think it's been cleaned that well since I moved everything out of the room to paint it a year ago. Ouch. The dust: it was epic. The sneezing fits were pretty darn epic as well. I replaced the creaky old TV/DVD combo with a little HDTV and Blu-ray player and added my oooold VCR so I have a place to watch old videotapes. I also replaced the yucky green roman shades (I must've been smoking the bright blue crack to have thought those ever looked good) with the cordless, white cellular shades from the bedroom. So much better! Plus, the white will look fantastic when I complete the curtains for the craft room. With all the cleaning, window treatment installation, reorganization, and the five mile walk to Ferndale and back, I collapsed into bed (after a MUCH-NEEDED bath) shortly after Hubbyfink got home from University.

On Sunday, I started the bedroom and bathroom clean up. These endeavors weren't nearly so epic as the craft room, but Hubbyfink was pretty impressed with the depths to which I was cleaning. Hubbyfink was even inspired to clean out his overflowing dresser. I got the bedroom dust-free and the bathroom gleaming with just enough time for me to shower and primp before meeting pirategirleee and psalite for a much-needed (and deserved) sushi dinner. I slept the sleep of the just last night.

Comments

[kass-rants.livejournal.com]

I know it's not what you're talking about, but I have always thought of you as a "pretty girl".

I applaud you. I need to start dressing up and getting my hair cut at normal intervals because not doing so is really wearing on me. There's always so many more important things to do! But this is important. It's not just vanity. It's self-worth.

You continue to inspire me. Thank you.

[greta-k.livejournal.com]

What Kass said (because she said it so much better than I could :-).

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Kass. It pleases me to no end to hear that I can inspire others. Being an inspiration is ever so much better than being a horrible warning. ;)

[hannnahkl.livejournal.com]

If you're to the point where you just need there to be curtains in the craft room, I have two sets of dark red ones from Target that I am going to end up not using; the paint in the bedrooms ended up more lavender than gray and the red now doesn't look like it was supposed to. Of course, I've lost the receipt, and it's not worth the hassle it would be to return them since they were also on clearance.

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the offer. I've got the fabric ready to go tonight, though. Plus, I think red against the green walls would be a bit much. :)

Do you have any plans Thursday? Scott & I wanted to invite you out for dinner.

[hannnahkl.livejournal.com]

I have a 5pm appointment, so should be back homeish by 7 or 7:30 depending on traffic. My nose may be bright red though. :)

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

We don't mind the bright red nose if you don't. :) Give us a call when you get home and we'll pick you up. Amphora sound good?

[hannnahkl.livejournal.com]

Yep, works for me :)

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

I think for a lot of us, that confidence comes with age and knowing that sometimes using the externals can help bolster the internals until we reach steady ground in our skin. Its a good thing, and you ARE beautiful. the radiant kind. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Share it with others. xox

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. :)

[belfebe.livejournal.com]

I am really excited for you. You are going about this the right way, meaning "from the inside out" rather than "the outside in." And it shows. Attitude and positive thinking is 90% of the transformation. You are a beautiful woman and a wonderful person. Always remember that.

[belfebe.livejournal.com]

I was re-reading this. I meant that the outside in helps in the development of the inside out, if that makes sense. :-)

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

It made sense. :) Thank you. :)