I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese.

I've begun frequenting a particular website filled with video tutorials for make-up application and product reviews. The first tutorial I watched as for eyeshadow application and then how to make small eyes appear larger and then how to make brown eyes "pop". I noticed that the presenter of these videos had gone from having an adorable round and chubby face to a much more chiseled face. Being not so swift on the uptake, it took me a little while to realize it was the same girl. Hm, she must've lost weight over the past year or so, thought I. My next thought was Wow, she looks like a b*tch.

And then I mentally shook my head. Nothing in this woman's presentation or demeanor had changed. She was still providing helpful and encouraging advice in both videos, articles, and forum posts. The only thing that had changed was my perception of her because she had gone from heavyset and non-threatening to thin and "competition". Competition for what?? Where the heck were these thoughts coming from? I don't even know this person beyond what she's posted on a website! Why is all this ugliness bubbling up at someone who achieved a goal that I'm working toward?

I don't have answers to these questions yet. More exploration required.